I recently moved and I experienced what so many other people experience when they move, I was holding on to a lot of stuff.
Some of it totally made sense because it’s stuff I used everyday or it was family photos that I inherited when my mom died. Some of it was a bathmat that I bought years ago, never really liked but just kept or there was the bottle of Tylenol that I kid you not, expired in 2014.
The disruptive occasion of moving alerted me to the need to take stock of stuff. I had to take physical boxes and decide what I wanted to keep, what I wanted to donate and what I wanted to keep but change to make it work in my new home or to make it fit the person I have become instead of the person I was when I first bought it.
There are moments in our lives that are disruptive and that draw our attention to the philosophical framework, spiritual beliefs and emotional histories that drive our present, whether we are cognizant of them or not. A disruption can be many things but here are some examples:
-Getting married
-Getting divorced
-Adopting or giving birth to a child
-Changing jobs
-Becoming a stay at home parent
-Having a teen or older child question your families beliefs or values
-The death or aging parent or loved one
-Buying a new home and either upsizing or downsizing
-Reaching an important milestone in your career
-Having a child reach a new milestone like last kid to kindergarten or first kid to college
We can get lost in the business of re-orienting ourselves in one of these times that knocks us off kilter and just strap everything we have accumulated to our hearts and minds and take it into the new season with us in the midst of our grief, excitement, anxiety, anticipation and many other emotions.
We can look at the framework we were given as children or the faith journey we have had so far or at parenting philosophies that were helpful when our kids were babies over a decade ago and think, what of this is my core self, what of this was helpful for a season but really doesn’t fit now and what of this was never really mine, but I carried it out of family obligation or social pressure?
These are big questions and sorting through these kinds of things can be a difficult process and therapy can help it all feel less overwhelming and you can rebuild a more intentional, purposeful life for yourself (and your family, if that fits).
