I have noticed a trend in the last few years as a therapist. So many people talk about feeling isolated and lonely. I think we don’t know how to make friends as adults! It’s like dating, but with less social structure around it.
Finding a new friend requires you to show up to “dates” with new friends (strangers), not knowing what they are like. It can feel vulnerable, boring, and time consuming! So, this is your encouragement to keep trying! Commit to those people in your life regularly. Convenience is sometimes more important than finding someone you perfectly click with.
Relationships are based in shared experiences. That means you have to show up over and over and build those memories together. There are people out there with the same desires as you. I KNOW people in your community want connection and real relationships that will last a lifetime just like you do. None of us want to go into the next few decades of your life as an island trying to be self-sufficient.
Here are some easy ways to meet new friends.
1. Join a running club or workout group. Some of my faves are: Caulfield Dance, Bar Method, and Dallas Running Club
2. Attend an artsy workshop- Rachel Larlee Creates, Dallasites list of art workshops
3. Attend an art opening or lecture- Art House Dallas has so many amazing events
4. Start a book club in your neighborhood (remember convenience is important!)
5. Throw a patio party. Invite who you know and have them invite someone else!
6. For new moms, join your neighborhood moms’ group- most areas have one that holds events for you with or without babies.
With most of these activities this won’t launch you into deep relationships. It will take you stepping out and engaging with people. So, after getting comfortable in some of these settings ask if people to do something else. It WILL NOT feel natural at first, but it will grow over time.
I want to normalize how weird this process is as an adult! But it’s possible to build a community that brings you fulfillment and connection.