It’s a paradox but it’s true. The more we try to push something away the more is seems to follow us. We do this with negative thoughts or bad memories. We feel it coming on and we try to push past it. Depending on how you’re wired, you might struggle against those thoughts. Or you might give in and let them flood you. Either way, it is persisting in your mind, sometimes getting caught in your body.
I struggle with self-doubt. Sometimes I feel not good enough. I strive to be better and be more. I feel like I need to earn my rest, and I think I have to prove that I belong.
These kinds of thoughts pop up all the time. I have let anxiety take me under in times of my life. And I have wrestled with it and tried to rise above it in other times in my life. But after trying both of these, I can tell you, my fears and limiting beliefs still persisted.
I have discovered that what seems to take the power out of these thoughts is acceptance as I’ve read about acceptance and commitment therapy created by Dr Russ Harris. These thoughts are like a giant scary monster towering over me, when I choose acceptance rather than to wrestle, the air is released, and it deflates.
A few things about acceptance:
- It doesn’t mean you are letting yourself live according to that belief, fear or though.
- It doesn’t mean it will never change.
- It won’t make you feel instantly happier.
But what acceptance DOES DO:
- It regulates the nervous system so you can make choices rather than reacting out of emotions.
- After acceptance you can commit to a different action, behavior or thought.
- It helps you accept where you are now, then commit to changing.
- You build self-compassion rather than shaming yourself.
