7 signs you’re living on autopilot.
Have you ever had one of those weeks where you’re checking every item off your to-do list, but you feel like a ghost in your own life? You’re making the school lunches, answering the emails, and showing up to the meetings, yet inside, everything feels heavy, distant, and strangely quiet.
At East Dallas Therapy, we see this often—especially with high-achieving parents and professionals. In the world of nervous system regulation, this state has a name: Functional Freeze.
I recently came across a great piece by Julia Malacoff for Parents that dives into this exact phenomenon. Unlike the traditional “freeze” response where you might feel physically stuck, functional freeze is a “high-functioning” version of shutdown. It’s the state of being “wired but tired,” where your nervous system has both the gas and the brake slammed down at the same time. You are moving, but you aren’t really there.
Here are 7 signs you might be experiencing a functional freeze:
1. You Feel Emotionally Numb
You aren’t necessarily “sad,” but you aren’t feeling joy or excitement either. Life feels like it’s happening in grayscale. You might find yourself “performing” emotions because you know they’re expected, not because you actually feel them.
2. Persistent, Bone-Deep Exhaustion
This isn’t the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep fixes. It’s a chronic fatigue that comes from your body spending enormous energy just to keep the “freeze” response active while you continue to function.
3. Cognitive Slowdown and “Brain Fog”
Do you find yourself staring at your screen for twenty minutes, unable to start a simple task? When the nervous system is in freeze, it pulls resources away from the “thinking” part of your brain, making decision-making feel impossible.
4. You’re on Autopilot
You might find yourself driving home and realizing you don’t remember the last five miles. You’re going through the motions of your day—parenting, working, chores—without any sense of presence or connection to what you’re doing.
5. Your Mind Goes Blank Under Stress
During a conflict or a high-pressure moment, your thoughts simply vanish. It’s not that you’re choosing not to speak; it’s that the “files” in your brain are temporarily inaccessible.
6. Physical Tension You Can’t Shake
Even when you’re “relaxing,” your shoulders are up to your ears or your jaw is clenched. Your body is holding onto a sense of threat that your mind hasn’t fully processed yet.
7. Social Withdrawal (Even When You’re Present)
You might still go to the dinner party or the PTA meeting, but you feel like there’s a glass wall between you and everyone else. You’re physically there, but emotionally, you’ve checked out to protect yourself.
How to Start “Thawing”
If this sounds like you, please know that you aren’t “lazy” or “failing.” Your nervous system is simply doing its best to protect you from overwhelm. The way out isn’t to push harder—it’s to gently signal to your body that it is safe to come back.
At East Dallas Therapy, we specialize in helping you navigate these complex trauma responses. If you’re ready to move from surviving to thriving, our therapist Margaret Barrett is here to help. Margaret specializes in anxiety and relationship therapy, helping you reconnect with yourself and your loved ones.
