1. Self-doubt=fear- Let go of fear by naming it for what it is.
And no one ever made a good decision out of fear.
It’s easy to let our lives take the shape of whatever we’re reacting to, whatever we’re retreating from. Like being afraid to take a risk in a relationship and feeling more isolated, afraid to speak up for what you believe and let the conversation continue while you’re feeling more and more unconfortable. Being led by fear inevitably leads you down path you never intended to go down. If you want to change course, you have to release your fear first. This looks like naming it. “I’m afraid to be vulnerable with my husband because he may reject me.” “I’m afraid to say what I think about social justice because I’ll be labeled as liberal or judgmental.” Sometimes just naming your fears to yourself can be freeing.
2. Disobey that voice inside that says you “should _________”
In an effort to grow or change, we cut ourselves off at the knees and box ourselves in. One little life-hack I like to do is disobey that little voice. We all have the subconscious rules for ourselves- we can only speak for so long in conversations, we can’t disagree with someone, we aren’t the kind of person who speaks up for what we need. This can really begin to box you in. Try to disobey these rules sometimes and see how it feels! If your self-doubt keeps you from speaking up, try disobeying it. If you have a rule about how much you speak in a conversation, go on talking!
3. Know the difference between fear and wisdom.
Fear overgeneralizes, projects into the future (when we actually have no idea what the future holds), fear has a negative bias about the possibilities and our capabilities. Wisdom sounds like cautious consideration and openness. Wisdom does it’s due diligence but is willing to take risks. Wisdom is usually found by asking around, doing research, AND trusting your gut.Does this make sense? Does this hit home?
A little about me:
A little about me… I help women who feel boxed in by self-doubt, criticism and the expectations of others. Some women come to me burned out and wanting to understand where they went wrong. Sometimes women come in to process their past pain from church and religion- rejection, dark night of the soul, legalism, or doubt in God. It can be so difficult to even know what we need, let alone asking for those needs to be met. Many of my clients are trying to cope with depression or stress from this season of life. Sometimes we work on healing their past pain so they can grow and move on. More about me here.
I walk along side you through the pain and self-awareness into a happier more hopeful life.
I also have a side-project called Motherlift. I founded it alongside my Doula sister- Macy Morrow. Motherlift is an educational platform for mothers in every stage of motherhood. We help women from pregnancy through parenting cope with all the changes, chaos, and challenges that come with the role of motherhood. It’s a total blast! Check it out here.